It's Friday!! Date night, for those of you who are still lucky enough to have the energy and funds to do so.
Since I do so love a flashback QOD, indulge me...
There you are, stepping out of the shower to get ready for your date. Your stomach is all in knots and you're positively giddy about the night ahead of you. Maybe it's a first date. Maybe it's Prom. Maybe you're hoping to get engaged that night. You pick out the perfect outfit, do your hair just right (guys - you towel dry it to stunning perfection) and you know, absolutely know, that this is going to be the best night of your life.
[insert clock with hands zooming around here]
It's the end of the night. You come home utterly exhausted. You stumble into your room and don't even bother brushing your teeth because it would take too much energy. You flop on your bed and think to yourself, "Ho-ly crap, that was the single WORST date that I have EVER been on in my ENTIRE life."
Spill it. What happened?
Friday, January 25, 2008
Date Night!
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7 comments:
i was so pumped to be going on a date with a boy named thad. i was a sophomore and he was a senior. he had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was the valedictorian. every girl in school lusted after this boy and i had a date with him on friday night.
the first stop for us was a pizza place which wasn't all that bad. conversation was a bit strained, but overall it wasn't too painful. we had an hour or so before the movie began so guess where he takes me...
wal-mart.
yes, my dream date took me to wal-mart. i can't remember much after that, but i'm assuming it wasn't too great. he kind of killed it for me after that. we went out a few more times after the initial date - not because i enjoyed his company or thought he picked fantastic places to take a date. i went out with him again because, helllloooo!!?? it was thad, the dreamboat of hhs.
Okay, so I was at a dance hall. A hip-hop all-ages dance club of sorts. And anyone who knows me can imagine how well I fit in. Anyway, I met a "girl" at this fine establishment. We decided to go out sometime... and by "we" I mean "she." She seemed okay...
I picked her up at her house (Her parents house to be precise, we were teenagers after all.) and we drove away. As we were driving she slid over beside me (yeah, I had bench seats in my '81 Cutlass) and put her arm around me. I thought to myself... whoa, slow down. And then she said, "Regardless of what happens tonight, you WILL call me... or my brother will kill you." Needless to say, not much "happened" that night, and I took my chances by not calling her.
Haven't seen her on America's Most Wanted so I'm assuming her words were just that. But if any guys are interested in someone who uses "dirty murder talk" on a first date, maybe I can hook you up.
Sorry T-Pea, I can't choose just one. Forgive me. I also can't name names for all of them...
G: He drove a ridiculous car that was incredibly loud, low to the ground and "sooo" cool. No. It was ridiculous and embarrassing. He said the word "straight" as an adjective, verb and noun and took me to Pizzeria Uno. Then when I told him that it wasn't going to work out, he and one of his friends cussed me out in Kretzmann's parking lot. After which he tried to run me down (in aforementioned cool car) while I was in the crosswalk in front of Gellersen.
Water Guy: He practically skipped (or loped, take your pick) up my driveway when he came to my door, at which time my dad said "This one's never going to last." He took me to Lucrezia's (YUM) where he told me he still lived in his parents' basement. This was followed by PasTimes, where he tried to educate me on the finer points of proper beer drinking and broke the news that his dog had died that day (sad, really). Then he continued to keep ordering more drinks and talk about his dog ALL night until I played the "I'm really tired" card and asked to go home.
Adam: Arrived two hours late because he got lost and refused to call. (Why men, why?) Took me to Aberdeen, where he had planted friends in the bar to do that whole "Hey! Didn't know you'd be here! Adam's a greeeaaat guy!" thing. I can't even remember how this one ended, other than I had to duck one of the worst, most ill-timed end of date kisses EVER. *shudder* He also wore a pinky ring. 'Nuff said.
The sad part? These are the censored versions. They are actually much much worse. And I could go on... but I'll stop for the sake of my pride.
Mine was sophomore year of college. I went to a Homecoming date party with this guy who... well... now I can't even remember how we got set up. I think it was a double-date kind of thing with my friend and his friend.
He was a football player and in the kind of "jock"ish fraternity on campus. Now, anyone who knows me knows that this is so far out of my scene, I should have known that it would end up disastrous.
I was totally uncomfortable all night (see previous "I'm lucky I never got the sh** kicked out of me for being an honor student" post) and felt totally out of place. In a stroke of genius, I remembered -- hey! My sister was back for the weekend! It would be really rude of me not to meet up with her at some point, right? I excused myself and said that I would be back shortly.
When I came back, I walked in on my date totally macking with some other girl in his room.
I grabbed my coat and ran.
Oh my gosh, as soon as I clicked "publish," I remembered -- Bob.
One summer in college, Jenn was dating this guy, John, and they tried to set me up with his friend, Bob. They came to pick us up after a softball game and I suspect that good ol' Bob had a few beers at the game before we met up.
I honestly cannot remember what we did that night, but I do remember the most significant event. By the time we were heading home, good ol' Bob had passed out in the back seat. He and John both chewed tobacco and John was out, so he wanted me to get the tin out of Bob's pocket.
Excuse me? You want me to what? Ugh. Oh, okay, fine...
Wai...Wait a minute. Why is his pocket all wet? Yuck, did he drool all over himsel....ewwwww!!!!! NO, that is NOT drool. Bleeeeccchhhhh.
Yep, you guessed it, sports fans. Good ol' Bob passed out and peed his pants.
I win.
OK, so the Bob thing was gross, but it still made me laugh really hard to remember that moment because I truly remember it clearly. Sorry, Tara. In my defense, he was good looking :/
A blind date gone SO BAD----Rene and Joe set me up with one of Joe's friends. We arrive at his downtown apartment only to find him really drunk already and about 6 inches shorter than me. I don't mind "short" but I'm not a giant to start with. Got to the bar and I ran in to some friends (two guys)from grade school that I hadn't seen in years. Mark comes stumbling over, grabs my hand and face and kisses me as to "claim" me. GROSS! I wanted to DIE! I excused myself, pulled Rene to the bathroom and asked her to keep him away from me. Friends sent him hime in a cab but he showed up at the next bar somehow. He sat in a chair across the room from all of us and kept waving and winking at me. A good looking guy came up and told me he had a friend who found me attractive. I thought, "Maybe this night could be salvaged afterall." He points across the room only to find Mark winking and doing the cheesy guy finger point at me. We left him at the bar and by the time he made it home I was hiding behind the kitchen island to avoid him. The guys sent him to bed and needless to say, I got out of there ASAP.
I know that got long, but I don't do "putting it in a nutshell" very well.
Not all blind dates go bad, though..I ended up marrying one :)
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