Imagine this. You're standing in line at the Pearly Gates. You look around and see, well, whatever it is that you imagine that Heaven looks like. Above the gates is a scrolling marquee:
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Temperature: 75 and sunny
Welcome, Bill Marshall from Schenectady!
Tonight only - Elvis! See Apollo for tickets!
Now Playing at the Multiplex: Bridget Jones's Diary, You've Got Mail, The Mummy, Top Gun, Stand By Me, Glory, Serendipity
Next Q & A Session: 20 minutes
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Q & A session?
You lean forward to the person in front of you in line and ask, "What's a Q & A session?"
He turns around and explains, "Oh, the Q & A session! That's supposed to be the best part of being here! We get to go and ask any question that we've always been, well, dying to know the answer to! Heh, heh. No pun intended."
"Hmmmm!" you think. "Any question? I can find out everything I've always wanted to know?"
You lean forward again and ask your new friend, "Where do I sign up??"
What would you ask?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Posted by Tara at 9:55 AM
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14 comments:
Oh boy, do I have a list.
My most burning question: What is deja vu?
I also want to know -- why is the esophagus right smack dab next to the windpipe? Talk about a choking hazard! Poor design, I say!
1) are spirits really able to visit earth again and check up on relatives and friends and such?
2) is there really life outside our universe?
3) did we really evolve from apes? i can't wait to get the straight skinny about creation.
4) what's the deal with lice? why, oh why, were they created? seriously, has anyone found the benefit of having them around?
super jane said: "i can't wait to get the straight skinny about creation."
Oh, I know! I hope that after the Q & A session, we're taken into a theater where we get to watch one of those super sped-up movies of how the world actually evolved. You know, like you see in the nature movies of a flower growing, or something?
And if there is life on other planets and there is reincarnation, do we get to choose a different planet to come back on??
Sigh. Sadly, if there is reincarnation, we're going to forget everything we've learned and we're all going to be having this same conversation in the next life...
To be honest, I wonder about eating.
What is the reason we eat?
or
Why aren't we like plants and simply absorb our nourishment?
I have never seen a fat plant.
The answer might clear up quite a bit of the Genesis account, too.
"75 and sunny? Serendipity is playing?? Did I end up in the wrong place???"
Oh, har har har. Had you bothered to answer "Baby, it's cold outside," maybe there would be a movie for you in Heaven. Pbbbt.
Things I Want to Know:
1. Is there life outside the universe? (SuperJane, if I make it there before you, I'll get the 411 and radio it back down to Earth somehow.)
2.) Does everyone *really* have a twin somewhere in the world?
3.) What's up with the Bermuda Triangle?
I know it's a lot of questions rolled into one, but I would also loooove to know the truth about all those crazy conspiracy theories out there.
Still, even watching my favorite movie in such stifling heat and brightness is enough to convince me that I ended up in the wrong place. All I'd need is that person sitting behind me in the movie theater chomping on their popcorn and I'd ask St. Pete my next question: "Do you know the way to the "down" escalator?".
Oh no. Loud, crunching popcorn is not allowed in heaven. No no no. It also has no disgusting, stale, overly buttery smell either.
At least not in my heaven :)
Andrew - you and my hubby must seriously hang out. That's two days in a row (the popcorn in the movie theater).
My questions would be -
1) Why? Were you just bored one day and thought "Oh, maybe I will create a Universe, that ought to at least keep me occupied for a couple of minutes" or is there a God of some other Universe and they dared you to do it?
2) When sin entered into the world, was that when bad smells came too? Or did Adam and Eve have stinky feet and BO before the apple?
3) When the angels were watching over me did they see me having sex?
My almost 5 year-old can come up with a list of these questions in about 2 minutes...why is it that I have to really think in order to do so?
Erin, I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't like the popcorn thing. I thought I was the only one who doesn't like that. In fact, I hate all chewing sounds. Ugh.
Okay, okay, T Pea, I would ask God who actually was responsible for JFK's assassination. And, what are UFOs really.
Popcorn... I'm one more "diet mini-bag" away from sending myself down that elevator. The nauseating buttery smell hits... And then the munching begins. Munch. Munch. Munch. One perfectly puffed kernel at a time... as if eating it slowly is more polite. Munch. Munch. Munch... Like Chinese water torture, salted. Will the bag never end? How freakin' big can "mini" be? And just when the munching stops and the odor fades, the terrible cycle starts over again... "Popcorn anyone?"
Questions...
1- Very funny. But seriously, can I have a do-over?
2- Free will or determinism? If determinism, I would have done a lot more "bad" things, and just blamed it on determinism.
3- I'm with all of you conspiracy theorists... JFK, the moon, blah blah blah.
4- And most importantly... Who let the dogs out?
Ahh, Andrew, I like that last one....
--Was there a conspiracy around the JFK assination?
--What happened to the lost colony at Roanoke?
--Where did the legend of the Holy Grail come from, really? What happened to it?
Ok, I could go on and on and on with these historical type questions....
--Is there life out there other then us? Have they ever visited us? When?
Oh and Tpea, if you really want to get into it, the way the whole esophagus/trachea thing works is really a marvel...
Just thought of another one on this, my longest day ever.
Why does time seem to speed up as you get older?
And, why is it that the days of the week can seem to take an eternity, yet at the end of the week, you can still think, "Wow! This week flew by!"?
Please, in a nutshell, God -- explain time. You've got 30 seconds. Go.
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