In light of the recent announcement of the most popular baby names of '07, I found myself mulling over the monikers that just might top the "best of the worst" list. These are the names that make you shake your head in wonder, trying to figure out why any parents would set their child up for what is sure to be a lifetime of teasing. You know the names I'm talking about... Heaven Leigh, Rain Beau, Carolyn Noel.
Perhaps we aren't totally to blame. Influences are everywhere, with a whole new crop of Apples, Cocos and Violets popping up on the celebrity playground. We've even learned how to twist the most common names into something a little more interesting. Wave goodbye to Alex, Faith and William, and say hello to Alyxx, Fayth and Wylliem instead!
Yes, it seems that non-traditional names are here to stay. Put little Jack Daniel down for a nap, and take some time to let us know what names make you cringe or giggle each time you hear them and think "Wow. Even if I don't love my name, thank God it's not ..."
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Hi! My Name is...
Posted by A Pea at 8:39 AM
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13 comments:
I just went to lunch with some co-workers last week and found out that one of them has a nephew named Peyton Manning [insert last name here]. What? Okay, you're a fan, I get it. But could you at least just stick with Peyton? Did you have to go whole-hog and toss in the middle name, too? [shaking my head]
I used to work with a guy who SWORE that he went to school with a Krystal Shanda Lear. (I'm still not sure that I'm buying it, Adam, if you're reading this.)
Then there's always someone who knows someone who knows the twins, Orangejello and Lemonjello. (Yes, A Pea, I know you swear your aunt knew them, but again -- not sure I'm buyin' it....)
In my old job, we worked with kids birth-3, so we'd see some real whoppers in our referrals. I can't even remember some of them off-hand, but I think the most annoying part is when people spell the kid's name all crazy-like because they want them to be "unique." Ah, yes, it is the spelling of one's name that makes them stand out in the world. I'm sure they'll appreciate this in the long-run, when they are forever spelling their names for people and *still* getting their mail addressed incorrectly.
I see T Pea's Peyton Manning comment and raise her a Bryce Drew. Seriously. Someone from my hometown named her son Bryce Drew. Yes, in honor of Valpo's own. We did live only 15 mins south of the town/university, but c'mon. Get over it, him, the shot, whatever. (I know, I know... I should have to forfeit my alum card for that one.)
On the sports vein, I also saw a news story about a family of Cubs fans whose last name was Field. What'd they name their child? You guessed it - Wrigley.
I also used to work with a girl who named her daughter Harley Quinn. Run it together, and it's Harlequin... as in the romance novels. I didn't know her at all, so I can't speak to whether or not that was her intention, but nonetheless, it is what it is. So wrong.
How did I forget these the first time?
Major league baseball players: Milton Bradley and Coco Crisp.
I've heard of a couple of idiots, I mean sports fans, naming their children Espin... And one even spelled it Espn. If you're a fan of ESPN fine... Maybe name your kid Dan Patrick Patrick. Or whatever. Dan Patrick isn't even with ESPN anymore is he? I'm out of touch, I know.
I also don't like the scenario when the man is charged with naming the boy and the woman for naming the girl. "Young man, I think I'll call you Hunter.. No wait. Fisher." "Sweet little thing.. We'll call you Smiley. No wait. Miley. Yes, Miley. And someday you'll go on to successfully lip-sync, selling millions of albums to five-year-olds all while wearing a porno-style wig."
I'm so sorry 2-peas.
As the Mom of a Liam and a Miles, I love quirky names.
However, my sister Heather is planning on naming her kids:
1. Wrigley (for the field, they are diehard Cubs fans)
2. Tuscon (I am sorry, but of all of the cities in the world)
3. Zebediah (oh fabulous, it's Biblical, but so is Malachi and all I think of is that red haired kid from Children of the Corn.)
If any of you have read Freakonomics, the number of "Females" (pronounced fee-mal-ee) is staggering. Were you really that exhausted?
Yeah, but Liam and Miles are REAL NAMES.
Female? Come ON. Not only is this awful, she's forever going to be Female the Tamale. Think, people. PLAYGROUND SAFE NAMES. Your child with thank you for it.
i see funky names pass through my office every day. i usually email them to t pea and we shake our heads in wonder. i just looked through some old emails between me and t pea and found a few good ones.
1) a student's middle name is 'fudge.'
2) izaak
3) paegan
4) there is a student who attends here named porsche. her sisters names are jaguar, mercedes, and corvette. and i so wish i were lying about that. but, sadly, i am not.
5) my oldest daughter goes to dance class with a girl named lilly. her older sister is rose and her younger sister is named violet.
The cars!! I knew you had some good ones, but I couldn't remember them. You see a lot of good sibling name themes going on, don't you?
1. Heaven. Not a good name for a 2 year old who's not.
2. Xena. Yep, in Porter County, there is a Xena.
We tried hard to convince some friends of ours to name their kid "Megatron" but they wouldn't do it.
People think it's cute to do strange names (like Apple. Or Coco. Or Kel-El.) But I think like tpea: that kid is so getting beat up on the playground.
When naming a kid, always think how the kids are going to use that name!
Oh, and one more: my sister's new married name is now Brooke Brooks. If they have a son, he wants to name the kid "Bronx". Oh my.
i just came across a gal named 'zabrina.' there was a student here several years ago named 'zarah.' when did it become trendy to replace 's' with 'z?' maybe i zhould change my name to 'zuper jane.' hmmm...now that i think about it, it doez have a nice ring to it.
I think Zuper Jane sounds great!
Playground safe - our rule was this - we would toss name out into our circle of friends and if they could make fun of it, for real, within a couple of minutes, then it was off the list.
Anything that rhymed with penis wasn't even considered!
I just had a patient the other day and I will use a different first name such as "Carol" and her last name was Barton. I kept calling her "Carol" and finally she said to me "honey everyone calls me Dolly....Dolly Barton" I had to leave the room because I almost peed my pants.
I also had a Diana Ross the other week!
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