I don't watch the Oscars. I'm not a movie buff to begin with, and the films that rank high on my list are usually far from any Academy worthy efforts. Rather than stare at the tv in complete confusion while actors I've never heard of accept awards for movies I've never seen, I usually skip the ceremony and catch the highlights on the next day's news feeds. (Aside from the fashion - you know I'm all about E!'s coverage of the pre-show.)
Personally, I'm a bigger fan of the Razzies - the awards that recognize all that is bad about movies. Or should I say they point out the creative genius of such stellar films as The Hottie and the Nottie and polish the acting chops of true stars of our time, like the Wayans Brothers. Alas, these stars may never be recognized by the Academy, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for a little creative liberty with the category list, right?
So, imagine if you will, you receive a mysterious envelope in the mail, bearing the seal of the Academy and a silhouette of that trademark Oscar statuette emblazoned on the flap. Oscar is looking to go a little non-traditional this year, and they need your help. In hopes of waking up viewers who nod off somewhere between Best Cinematography and Best Sound Effects editing, they're asking your opinion about what category should exist but doesn't.
So, help them spice things up a bit. If you were able to create a new "Best ..." award, what would it be and who/what would be the lucky recipient?
Monday, February 25, 2008
And The Oscar Goes To...
Posted by A Pea at 9:02 AM
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14 comments:
Best Actor or Actress as an Activist. And there could be sub-categories... political, environmental, etc.
And the actors would try so hard to win this coveted award throughout the year that they wouldn't focus on making truly excellent movies... Thus handing us feature length piles of crap.
Can you imagine if that actually happened?
1) Most overexposed.
2) Most underappreciated.
3) Biggest oddball (I see Colin Farrell winning this year after year...)
I don't really have recipients for these, but...
1.) Most obvious Extra (who was really supposed to blend into the background).
2.) Worst script supervisor.
3.) Worst camera angles (hello, Moulin Rouge).
4.) Most overacted.
5.) Most underacted.
6.) Best facial expressions. (This would totally go to Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley.)
7.) Best fake accent. (I can't stand Gwynnie, but she does do a pretty darn good accent.)
8.) Worst fake accent. (What is that, Irish? Scottish? French?)
I really like some (some.) of the categories they have on the MTV awards--best kiss, best fight, best onscreen duo. I like the ones that are about the most memorable moments in the movies.
1. "The Best" waste of money
Then they could all compete for it.
I was so bored last night I turned it off and went to bed.
Best Animal Actor. I don't think animals receive enough credit for their roles in film. What would the Big Lebowski have been without the Pomeranian that was brought bowling?
Most Realistic Time Travel Device: phone booth in Bill and Ted.
Most Unrealistic Stunt: Wesley Snipes climbing out of the landing gear of a 747 during landing in Passenger 57.
Most Homoerotic scene: Volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Actor and actress who win "most attractive to worst acting performance".
I don't know who wins it for the men, but I think Jessica Alba would win this often for the women.
Most obvious product placement
(I know it takes money to make these mult-million dollar movies, but come on! It is so distracting.)
Ooh, that's a good one! You can totally tell that it's staged when you can perfectly read the "Coke" label on the can that the character is drinking. I always imagine someone yelling "CUT!!!" when the can is turned incorrectly and making them re-shoot the scene with the proper placement.
I know American Idol isn't a movie, so maybe this would have to be an Emmy instead, but that show could totally win H Carver's Most Obvious Product Placement. Could there be any more references to Coke and Ford?
I feel that way about Extreme Makeover Home Edition - "these fantastic Kenmore appliances from Sears". I know they are doing great things for these people, but jeez! It is in the contract that Ty says it a certain number of times per show?
No kidding! I saw The Biggest Loser for the first time recently, and they whipped out this bowl of Extra gum and talked about why you should chew Extra when you're having a craving. Because any other sugar-free gum just won't cut it?
Speaking of marketing, I totally fell prey to the Starbucks skinny latte branding campaign going on. And I knew it when I ordered one. I know you can get lattes with skim milk and sugar free syrup. This is not a new concept. In fact, I tried one when I did WW several years ago and didn't like it. At that time, I decided that if I'm gonna get a latte, I might as well go all-out. Points be damned.
This weekend, we stopped at a drive-through on our way to a family bday party in IL and I ordered a skinny latte.
Why?
Because Starbucks told you to, silly! :)
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